Family Tree

'Dam the booze... it can take the blame 4 our antics. Not working till thurs appy dayz Xxxx'

'Am all gd am very excited 4 fun with u soon when I come down !! How's all with ur bumpkin ass ? X x x x'

OK, it's Christmas Day, I'll put the phone away. My turn? #FML.

No I didn't know you knew what that meant Dad. Or I wouldn't have said it. FFS.

So! Gather around small people, and hear of how #Christmasdayonthebeach was cold, brrrrrr *shudders* Dale lent me his hoodie, but then he was cold and he went off, and WTF who knew?, there was a ban on booze and fags which was so not great. Ok, now getting the look, yes I'll stick to the story, and no my adorable little niecelet, of course Auntie Freya doesn't smoke.

Where was I? Australia. My A's weren't starry enough and so I'm on a gap for not making the grades. There's the look again. I did work actually. I just didn't get the questions. Now who's not sticking to the story? So I get my phone out, and there's loads of smiley face Christmas, and how was last night ? frm wat i could hear today it went rather well teeheee u knw wat i am on about ahh x x x x x and Heya hun u alrite jus wondered if u r still goin 2 that beach, r there crisps and snakeybite ? :) Xx  But I'm, like, furious because like a baby, Dale has updated his status to h8 being cold. No, you're not a baby. You're a big girl.

The messages are context Dad ac-tu-al-ly. Cos with these lovely lickle messages I get the picture from Gran. Of our tree. Well not that exact one obvs, but in the same place, with the same luvly, twinkly decs. Now do you know what's special about it? It's our family tree. Grandma started and makes sure of it. We have to make or find something special and precious, and hang it on the tree, and then we're all up there, together. So that little pink fluffy elephant? That was made by my Mummy when she was your age. That sparkly bottle of champagne? Uncle Rupert. The shiny medal on the ribbon is from Grandpa Alex, which was given to him by the King for being so brave.

So I added a like to the photo, but really it made me like, sad face. Dale came back, saw my look and got all that, especially when I showed him the picture, and his status. So I went to the hostel, and came home. Kept his cool hoodie though. LOL. On the plane, I took my silly sarong and little scissors and needle out, and cut and stitched. Made that big bow up there by the window. Yes I got in trouble with the stewardess, and Captain, and Dad I know there was no need to buy a new ticket, but I just wanted to be home, and I will calm down and it was bloody Christmas. Now you're laughing and Mum you're crying and I just don't get it, and please can I have another glass of champagne because I am nearly nineteen.